Performance – Act 2, Scene 1

We find our protagonists standing toe-to-toe, fury burning in their eyes; the maiden having fainted in terror. Baron Vista's loss in the battle for security leads him to challenge Count OS X to hand-to-hand combat. Fists will fly, noses will be broken and locals will gawk in wonder as our heroes trade blows. Who is faster? Who is stronger?

It isn't immediately obvious who has the performance advantage. Count OS X used to be rather unfit in days gone by, partly because of his fondness for the PowerPC processor. He's since cleaned up his act and adopted the healthier Intel processor favoured by the Baron. This makes our combatants evenly matched.

Will Count OS X prove to be more of a lover than a fighter? Would he rather compose a sonnet for the affections of the maiden than resort to fisticuffs? Or is Vista just a big ungainly blunderbuss who couldn't punch his way out of a paper bag? We like seeing people hurt themselves more than we like poetry -- let's see what happens when they trade blows.