Step three: Make a zoetrope

Step three: "A man who watches TV all day has created nothing. Make your own moving images and enjoy the pleasure of creation."

I'm told that there was life before television, although I'm not sure I believe it. It wasn't going to be easy to cut out the gogglebox -- can there be life without Deal or No Deal?

The book told me to make a zoetrope, a spinning cylinder with slits on it that makes a moving picture. It was very popular in Victorian England, but I was sceptical of its ability to replace Noel Edmonds as a source of afternoon entertainment.

After many hours toiling with paper, scissors and glue, though, I'd made my own home movie -- looks good, doesn't it?

But not even pride in my own handiwork could convince me that my zoetrope was better than my 42-inch plasma TV.

I was itching to get my hands on my Freeview box to catch up with the latest CSI: Las Vegas.

'The pleasure of creation' was wearing off quickly and I was freaking out.

I needed something better, bigger and in a much higher definition...